Timeline

Fri 14 Nov 2008

Jenny had just returned from a trip to Genting Highlands and was experiencing excruciating abdominal pain. We rushed her to the hospital ER and preliminary investigation indicated that she needed surgery. Before she checked into her ward she asked for her mobile to be brought in the next day so she could call her friends after the operation. 

Sat 15 Nov 2008

It was a bright sunny day when my daughter and I got to her ward. She was due for surgery later that day. She asked for her mobile, but the staff advised against leaving any valuables in the ward, so the phone got back into my pocket. 

When being wheeled away she was cheerful and bubbly, and we said we'll be back in the evening at visitors' hours. That was the last time we saw her in a fully conscious state.

At about 6 pm we reached her ward and found her in quiet repose. She appeared to be sound asleep. We called out to her several times, but she seemed to be in deep slumber. A male doctor came by and remarked that the operation was a success. "It was a clean job," he said. We left a Post-it note on her table and had our dinner. Back an hour later, she was still sound asleep, so I thought perhaps she was still under the effects of sedation and decided it was best to let her rest and pick her up the next morning. We scribbled another Post-it note and left. As we were walking out along the corridor, we could hear the nurse calling out her name repeatedly. Nothing untoward crossed my mind. Perhaps she was being awakened to take some medication or something. She was in good hands, in the care of professionals in a world class hospital. 

In hindsight it was the biggest mistake of my life. 

Sun 16 Nov 2008

While heading to the hospital in the morning I got a call from Dr. B. T. to meet her at the SICU. We were ushered into a room and received the bad news. My wife had suffered a stroke while in the recovery ward the previous night. She was being prepared for MRI scan and we were to wait before we could see the patient.

Around 1 pm we got a call from the hospital wanting to know what material was used in her knee-replacement operation as some metals can harm the MRI equipment or the patient. We tried contacting Jenny’s friend for the doctor's phone number. However, after some delays, the hospital reverted that they no longer needed the info.

At around 4 pm we were let into the hall of the SICU and briefed by a young lady doctor, who would be around for the remainder of my wife's stay. She showed us the scans on the screen which indicated the damage to the brain hemispheres caused by a blockage in her left carotid artery. Another doctor present pointed out what she claimed to be preexisting partial blockage of her carotid artery, and added that because she was admitted on an emergency basis via ER, she was not scanned in advance for possible carotid stenosis, a process done only for elective surgery and which could alert the surgeon to possible complications. 

We were told to be prepared… Her entire left hemisphere and half of her right were destroyed. If she survived at all, she would be in a vegetative state. Meanwhile the hospital would continue to monitor her for the next 72 hours, and keep her comfortably sedated. 

Then the nurse drew the curtains and admitted us to see my wife. She was in a coma, head slumped to one side, and hooked to a monitoring device. When I whispered her name and gently touched her, the life-signs monitor started to beep, prompting me to call for assistance. A nurse assured me that it was the patient responding to stimulus, triggering a rise in BP and HR.

We passed the night keeping vigil at the hospital, after notifying friends and relatives.

Mon 17 Nov 2008

In the morning we had a family briefing by the hospital. My son, daughter-in-law and grandson had flown in that morning. Overnight the patient had deteriorated. Throughout the day friends and relatives trooped in as word got out that she would be unlikely to recover. That evening her Godmother arranged for a parish priest to administer the last rites. For the rest of the day we just waited.

Tues 18 Nov 2008

Another painful day as we watched her in her comatose state. More friends and relatives dropped by. By evening we were drained. Through the night we kept vigil.

Wed 19 Nov 2008

At the briefing, the hospital told us the end was near. We hanged around the building waiting for the news. Eventually at around 1 pm we were notified to return to the ward. She had passed on. I asked my sister-in-law, a fellow Catholic, to say a few words, and we were then ushered out for the nurses to prepare her body for discharge.

She was then laid out for us in a small room. As the last of us were leaving, my daughter-in-law requested the nurses to help change her into some clothes she had prepared and got a bombshell reply. No, they could not oblige, it was to be done by the undertakers. Her body will be delivered for collection at the mortuary in a body bag, and nude! Why? Because the hospital wants the patient’s gown back before discharging the body. Luckily the matter was settled through the kind intervention of a medical staff member. 

Thu 20 Nov 2008

A wake was held at the Church of the Nativity attended by friends, colleagues, church members and relatives.

Fri 21 Nov 2008

Funeral mass at the Church of St Vincent de Paul, followed by cremation at Mandai.

My family wish to record our heartfelt gratitude for the kindness and support of friends, parishioners and relatives during our bereavement. We owe special thanks to Most Rev Msgr Nicholas Chia (at that time His Grace the Archbishop of Singapore and Jenny’s friend of many years) for honouring us with his visit at the wake, the parish priest Rev Fr Michael Sitaram, and to her Godparents and family for their support and guidance.